Tuesday, January 15, 2013

A beautiful emotional mess

I am so grateful to be a woman. Once a month no matter what walls I have constructed, they get taken down so lovingly. I work so hard to keep it all "together", managing myself and my family well, that I forget to stop and appreciate life. Everything is under control. My reactions, emotions, how I process interactions with others; except for one week. I am beginning to think that this is God's way of reminding us that we as women were created to feel. Durning this time I am more aware of how grateful I am for my kids, my friends near and far, and for my spouse. ( Whom I really happen LIKE) No longer am I going to feel silly for all of a sudden crying at a sappy commercial, a touching story, or empathizing with a friend. God's grace and the magnitude of it is rained down on me to make me less hard and jaded. A reminder once again that I am more Renae when I allow myself to feel and to be. Humanity is a gift. When we loose sight of our intricate workings, we loose sight of who we were created and designed to be. So go ahead, laugh loud, celebrate the life you have with those lucky enough to be around you. Cry at injustice, mourn at the loss of humanity, and pray for the strength to show God's abundant grace. It's ok to feel, and at times have a bit of dark chocolate.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A living example

Yup, there he is, my grumpy old man. Even when he's got his "mad face" on, I still think he's handsome and lovable. I wanted to share this photo, not only because it's funny, (seriously, I giggle every time I look at it) but that I was reminded of a lesson I try and teach my kids daily.. respect.

See, there is a story behind his mad face, and it's not just " I don't want to take a photo". He came off the bus upset because kids had teased him at school, no one sat with him on the bus so he was feeling left out, and to top it off I had taken his special "fort-sheet" from his room without asking. I had used to it to make a "studio" for this photo. I wanted to diffuse the light behind it to get a more even light source. What's the big deal you ask? Well, I tell my kids every day to ask before they take or use someone else's stuff. Usually this applies to my things, art supplies, glue, tape, string ect. They have bins full of their own art supplies, but mommy's is always cooler. For me to take his sheet, from his room was basically saying the rules don't apply to me, your space isn't respected, and really showing a double standard.

I was reminded through this moment that kids learn more from example than by being told. They observe adults closely because they look up to us, they want to be like us. Teaching my children how to live in this world starts with me and how I live in it. I need to be kind, gentle, respectful, caring, putting others first, so that they SEE how to live. Kids are smart, they know when we say one thing and do another. Due to their honestly they usually call us out on it too.. My boy sure did. I did apologize, and he did take a nice picture...  and next time I'll ask before using his "fort-sheet" for my photography studio.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012


Today as I was spending some time with the Father I was convicted of my propensity towards negative thoughts. Thoughts become attitudes, attitudes tend to come out in words or actions, and that equals U-G-L-Y. Ugly does not speak life to anyone who is around it, it breeds more ugly since it can be passed on faster than a flu virus. We all know what that looks like... ewwww..

What's a girl to do 
when she's caught the ugly attitude virus?? First the recognition that um.. I'm not all that and a bag of chips either, second, we all NEED the Father to get through each day, and thirdly, i'm going to think of three nice things about whom ever or what ever i'm being negative about. I want to lift them up to Jesus, thanking Him for them. If that is seeming a bit difficult may he show me how to love them better. This one life is too short to not act in love and in grace. We all need it so badly.

So shine that light, share that smile, lift up that one person that can push your buttons like no tomorrow, and live for the One who Loves us best.


Schedules, tasks, dead-lines, personal growth, surrender of control, taking it back, re-surrendering control... gaaah! Is this anyone else's day? The struggle to surrender our lives completely to Christ and that includes every single thing on our agenda?

To experience God in my daily life is taking on a whole new meaning to me. It is freeing me from trying to be a "good christian" what ever that
 means, and from doing it all on my own. To truly surrender my time, and what needs to be done not including the things that come with having family friends and a life purpose, is peace. It is as the teacher in Ecclesiastes said :

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the duty of all mankind.
14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil. 12: 13-14

In other words, all my stress about life is well, kinda meaningless. At the end of the day, if I give my whole life, my whole day to Christ, he's got it under His control. I cannot control my day as well as he can, and I prove that to myself day in and day out.

I am praying that as we go out to live this day, that maybe today, some for the first time, we as Women of Christ, would surrender our day to Him. Let Him lead us, and experience the fullness of His joy and peace. May it fill you up, even if all around you is total chaos.


So, the other day i'm on my computer, wasting time. I clicked on the tab that gives me a new page without canceling the page i'm currently on. This new page shows me my most visited sites... Guess which one is the top most visited? Facebook.. Now, while Facebook isn't a bad thing.. should it be my first thing? I check it every morning, afternoon and before I go to bed. 


My first th
ought each day should not be checking my facebook account, but checking in with my Father to see how I can join Him in this new day. As I get ready for bed, I should be releasing the day into His hands, asking for grace, and praising Him for all that he did. Spending time with God shouldn't be a chore on my "to-do" list. A "getting through such and such study, do this devotional, say a prayer and calling it quiet time" doesn't equal an authentic relationship with God. Allowing Him into the whole day, start to finish is. Letting Him speak to me in such a way that I stop what I am doing, pick up my bible and see what he's showing me.


I am a work in progress, and thankfully He's not in a hurry for me to "get it".. So today I am challenging myself to make more time for Him, letting it flow throughout the day, and allowing Him to speak to ears that are ready to listen.

John 10:27
My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.